


Wait For Me

by cuddlyreyes



Category: The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Explicit Language, F/F, Implied Torture, Physical Abuse, implied brainwashing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-12-14
Updated: 2014-02-17
Packaged: 2017-11-21 02:11:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 10
Words: 19,392
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/592294
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cuddlyreyes/pseuds/cuddlyreyes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Hi Natasha,” she whispered, “I wanted to tell you some stories today, I hope thats alright,” she looked down with a small smile, twisting a blade of grass between her thumb and forefinger, “The first time I kissed you... It was probably the best feeling in the world, I knew I fell in love with you right there, your hands were in my hair and I had grabbed a hold of your collar. You had just come back from a mission and I was angry about something and to calm me down you kissed me, right on the mouth. I hope you remember, I sure as hell do.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Wait for me

Pepper sat down in the bright grass, looking up at the sky as a small smile placed itself on her lips. Her usual work attire had been traded for a casual sweater with a pair of black jeans and boots, her orange locks spiraled down her back just as they always did when she visited her lover. 

“Hi Natasha,” she whispered, “I wanted to tell you some stories today, I hope thats alright,” she looked down with a small smile, twisting a blade of grass between her thumb and forefinger, “The first time I kissed you... It was probably the best feeling in the world, I knew I fell in love with you right there, your hands were in my hair and I had grabbed a hold of your collar. You had just come back from a mission and I was angry about something and to calm me down you kissed me, right on the mouth. I hope you remember, I sure as hell do.” 

Her blue eyes twinkled happily as she spoke to the Widow, “Then there was our first night together, I was nervous to be honest, I knew you had a reputation and I was afraid you wouldn't want me after you saw my lack of experience,” she chuckled, “I know I know, I was being dumb, but its true, I just wanted to impress you, show you how much I care about you, how much I love you.”  
The wind blew, sending her orange hair whipping around her face, Pepper laughed, leaning back in the grass. “I remember the day you told me about your life, all of your past, what those monsters did to you....” she closed her eyes for a moment, taking a few deep breaths before opening them, “You told me that I healed you, sealed the cracks that they left... I fell for you again that day. I love you because you’re imperfect and you admit it. I love you because you're you.”  
The CEO’s slender fingers caught hold of a patch of grass, pulling up the blades and letting go, watching them float off into the wind. “I don’t think I could ever find someone like you... Someone so brave and wonderful. I don’t think anyone would ever fall in love with me if it wasn't for you, don't even try and protest.” She smiled weakly, watching the birds fly through the chilly air, “Your birthday is soon,” Pepper whispered, looking down at the leaves flitting across the ground, “I have some surprises planned, I’m sure you’ll love them... Even if you hate it you never tell me... Always protecting me.... You missed it today, Tony blew up his ferrari, looked like a kid who just broke his favorite toy. Of course he already has a new one being shipped in,” A small huff of a laugh broke free of her pink lips. 

Pepper crossed her long legs, sitting indian style as the breeze whispered around her, soft gusts sending shivers up her spine. “Remember the day you proposed?” she smiled and played with the ring on her finger, “I cried like a baby, you kissed my cheeks and wiped away the tears before telling me you loved me.” A sad chuckle escaped her lips, “You told me that I still looked beautiful even with my makeup running, then we went home and we made love. That was the greatest day of my life, we spent the morning in the park, lunch at some hole-in-the-wall diner that you said you found while hiding out.” She scoffed, “Then we went to the tower, we watched Some Like It Hot because its my favorite and then we got ready for dinner...”  
Her eyes moved back up to the clouds, picking out shapes and designs as she spoke, “You wore the red gown that I love with black heels and your hair done in some elaborate updo, which by the way, you still need to teach me how to do that,” she grinned, “I was in the blue dress you told me to wear because you thought it brought out my eyes....” She ran a hand through her hair, “You took me to a fancy Italian place downtown and we ate pasta and drank wine, and you made me laugh so hard I almost spat my food everywhere... Then you stood up... Took my hand.... And you asked me to marry you... It was incredible and obviously I said yes....”

Pepper wiped at the stray tears falling down her cheeks before slowly getting to her feet and laying the bouquet of roses in front of the grave stone. 

Here Lies Natalia Romanova, Hero, Friend, Lover. May her debts be repaid and her soul rest in peace.

The strawberry blonde ran her hand over the name, “I miss you...” she whispered, tears falling freely now. She sucked her bottom lip in between her teeth, trying to keep from breaking before she got home.  
“I feel like I die everyday without you...” she mumbled, dropping to her knees in front of the stone holding her fiancee’s name. “I love you... I always will....” pale hands came up to wipe at her freckled cheeks as she sucked in a shaky breath.

“Wait for me Natasha....”


	2. Watching over you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Natasha felt a twinge of guilt as she watched her love crying in the graveyard, but knew it was for the best... She had to protect Pepper, even if the only way to do that was to hurt her. She remembered the day of the funeral, it was strange, watching all the people she cared about lowering an empty coffin into the ground.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took so long to come out with the second chapter! The third one should be out soon!

Natasha felt a twinge of guilt as she watched her love crying in the graveyard, but knew it was for the best... She had to protect Pepper, even if the only way to do that was to hurt her. She remembered the day of the funeral, it was strange, watching all the people she cared about lowering an empty coffin into the ground.

 

Pepper dressed in a simple black dress, orange hair hanging in delicate waves around her shoulders, she knew how much Natasha loved her hair down. The woman cried silently, listening to Clint, Phil and even Fury speak fondly of her lover. The archer spoke strongly, keeping it together through his whole speech, not a tear shed until his closing words.

“We love you Natasha... We know you’re finally at peace... No more red in your ledger....” She could have sworn she could hear Natasha mumbling in her ear, “You’ve gone soft Barton...” she would have said, a familiar twist of sorrow hit the CEO once again, wringing a small whimper from her lips. Fury spoke quickly, his speech short but sweet, covering all the obligatory bases.

Phil was always so strong for as long as Pepper had known him, never a tear shed, not even when he was almost killed. Hearing him speak of Natasha, it nearly shattered Pepper’s already decimated heart. “No matter what she thought about herself, she was not a monster. I thought of her as my own... I know its hard to imagine such a strong woman as a child... But I thought of her as my daughter... I am a better person for having known her, and all that means is that she was human, just like all of us.  I'll miss you, Tasha. We all will. So much."

Pepper watched as the coffin was lowered, she felt Tony’s hand on her back, keeping her grounded as well as making sure she didnt try anything crazy like trying to jump into the grave with her lover. The funeral party cleared out, only two remained. Pepper and Clint. The archer silently stood beside her, giving her hand a gentle reassuring squeeze. “I bet she’s laughing at us right now...” he mumbled, “Calling us idiots for crying over her. She used to always tell me, ‘If I die, I dont want people to cry, I want people to be happy. I’ll be at peace then, all my debts repaid’...” Pepper looked over at him, tears falling down her cheeks, “Do you really think she’s watching us?” Pepper whispered, wiping at her cheeks.

Clint gave a small sad chuckle, “I know she is... She would let us get rid of her that easy... Out of the two of us, I always thought I’d go first... Its not fair...” he hugged Pepper, the two of them silently crying over their loved one.

 

The story was she went down in an explosion, stopping the launch of missiles that were to head to New York. No body was found, but they thought she couldn’t have survived that explosion. Natasha knew that wasn’t the case. Her past had caught up with her, putting those she cared about and the one she loved most in danger.

  
~~~~~~~~~~  
  


“You think you could outrun us Natalia? We despise when our pets run away from home,” a voice purred, Russian accent strong despite the perfect english.

“I am no ones pet,” she snarled, hissing in pain when her head was yanked back, the cool steel of a knife against her throat. “Listen now Natalia. We know of your lover,” Natasha tensed, eyes cold. “Ah ah ah, now we have your attention dont we?” The man pressed his lips to her ear. “We have hundreds of guns pointed, come with us, and she lives.”  
Natasha snarled, looking around for a way out, she spotted an open window a few floors up and the crates of explosives off to side. Her eyes closed for a moment. “Or...” she said slowly, “I could just kill us all.”  
  


Natasha watched from another rooftop as the building blew sky high; she was injured, her belt, guns, her earpiece and widow bites left in the wreckage. From that moment on, Natasha Romanoff was dead.

  
~~~~~~~~~~  
  
The assassin watched over her lover, keeping her safe as the days went on. At night, Natasha would sneak into their small apartment the couple moved into after several months of dating. She would sit on the edge of the bed, speaking softly to her fiance.  


“Im sorry Pepper... I wish I could curl up here with you, remind you that everything is okay.... I wish I could tell you I’m alive, save you from the sadness I know I caused...” The assassin brushed a small strand of hair from the CEO’s pale face. “Goodnight my love,” she would whisper before disappearing once again.  
Weeks passed, Natasha always watching. She would follow Pepper, protecting her as she walked home from work. On more than one occasion she took out muggers and thugs looking to attack the CEO, a small smile on the Russian’s face as she watched Pepper pass from the shadows.  


Pepper never noticed she had a guardian assassin watching out for her, she was numb, empty. The strawberry blonde was on autopilot, her thoughts usually lingering on her lost love. She worked automatically, her body knowing what to do without her mind there. She rarely smiled, and when she did, it would be forced. Pepper was skinnier, dark circles around her eyes and her voice was now timid and almost scared. Tony began to notice and started taking her out to lunch everyday to make sure she ate, he even hired a psychiatrist to try and help the CEO.  


Nothing worked, no matter what she did, her heart remained an empty void that only Natasha could fill.  
A pang of guilt always hit the redhead when she would follow Pepper to the graveyard every week. Seeing Pepper cry, hear her desperate pleas, it felt like a knife was being driven into her heart, knowing she caused that pain.  
“I’ll always wait for you,” Natasha would whisper, watching Pepper lay down the roses every single week.  
  
The nightly routine began to take its toll on Natasha; she would stay a few minutes longer each time, brush Pepper’s hand a little more often, her voice grew slightly louder, almost as if she was asking to get caught. Natasha knew better, Pepper was in danger even without her there. The Red Room thought her dead, yet there was no doubt they still kept their eye on the object of the Widow’s affections.  
The Widow looked out the window, stripes of light pinks and oranges streaked the sky, signaling the suns eminent arrival. Natasha slowly got to her feet, kissing Pepper’s temple, “I love you,” she whispered, slowly turning and silently creeping towards the door.  


Pepper stirred ever so slightly, a voice calling to her in a dream. She knew that voice. An image of a smiling redhead jumped into her mind and a familiar twist of pain started in her chest. The voice was so close, a soft touch of full lips, the smallest tickle of those crimson curls on her neck. Blue eyes fluttered open, and what she saw made Pepper feel like her heart was breaking all over again. She saw her. The red hair, the familiar outline of the voluptuous figure she knew so well.

Pepper spoke slowly, her heart shattering, “N-Na-Natasha?” she asked, wondering if her mind was playing tricks on her again, “I-Is... Is t-th-that re-rea-really you?” she mumbled, tears already pooling, months of pain boiling over once more. Her voice was broken, pain showing plainly through her words, betraying her fragile state by pulling her knees to her chest, watching the woman through her tears.

Natasha slowly turned, tears in her eyes, “Pepper....” she whispered, looking at her fiance with a longing gaze. The CEO sat up, trembling where she sat, “Y-Yo-You’re al-alive....” tears fell down her freckled cheeks, her blue eyes shining. Natasha stepped closer, a hand reaching out and wiping her tears away. “Im so sorry Pepp... I... I had to protect you...” she whispered, gasping slightly as Pepper pulled her into a deep kiss.

Slender hands tangled into the assassins blood red locks, pulling her down into the bed as Pepper kissed her. Natasha’s trembling hands moved over her lover’s body, relearning the curves she adored so much.

Kisses became hungrier, hands held tighter, clothes were ripped off and tossed about. Pepper’s fingers plunged inside her lover, her body moving on autopilot as her mind raced, Natasha was alive! She was here and she was okay, but for how long? The CEO’s thoughts took a different turn as Natasha worked at her breasts, fingers pinching her nipples as her lips moved down Pepper’s neck, sucking a mark into her pale skin, reclaiming her lover as her own.

They came apart against each other, Natasha on Pepper’s slender fingers and Pepper on Natasha’s nimble tongue. Once both were panting messes under the covers did Pepper turn and look over at her lover with a smile.

  
“Welcome home Natasha...”


	3. Welcome Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Shh...” she whispered, “I’m just glad you’re alive...” her voice was soft, months of pain still lingering under her words. She felt whole again, like the hole in her heart had been filled, long lonely months without her Natasha all pushed behind her into the dark hole she had been wallowing in. The sight of Natasha pulled her out, the touch of her hands dusting her off and the feeling of her kiss reminding her what it was like to be alive.

Natasha awoke to long slender fingers tracing over her back, gentle kisses pressed to her jaw and incredibly bright blue eyes staring back at her. Pepper. Natasha brought a hand up to her cheek, tears in her eyes, through everything her love had still waited for her.

“Pepper I-” she was cut off by a kiss, the strawberry blonde assaulting her lips eagerly. When oxygen became a necessity the redhead pulled back, “Pepper... I’m so sorry...” she whispered, green eyes swimming with self hatred.

“I...I had to protect you... There was no other way...” Natasha’s voice broke, pearly teeth worrying her lower lip as she fought back tears. The CEO pulled her close, petting her lover’s hair and whispering hushed reassurances.

“Shh...” she whispered, “I’m just glad you’re alive...” her voice was soft, months of pain still lingering under her words. She felt whole again, like the hole in her heart had been filled, long lonely months without her Natasha all pushed behind her into the dark hole she had been wallowing in. The sight of Natasha pulled her out, the touch of her hands dusting her off and the feeling of her kiss reminding her what it was like to be alive

Pepper shifted them, bringing them both so they were leaning against the headboard, half covered bodies held close together. Natasha whimpered softly, trying to fight back her emotions, block them out before Pepper could see her break. The CEO slowly helped Natasha to her feet, bringing them both into the bathroom.

“S-Shower?” Natasha inquired, taking a shaky breath as she reached up to tuck a stray lock of strawberry blonde hair behind Pepper’s ear, lips curving into a small smile. Pepper nodded and turned the water on, looking back to Natasha with a sad smile, “God how I’ve missed you.... You can’t leave my like that again... Please...” her voice broke, making Natasha pull her in closer, rubbing her back.

“I swear to you, I will stay with you forever.” she smiled at the ring on Pepper’s finger, “I told you, no matter what I would always be with you.” Pepper gave a gentle smile, pulling back from the hug, her hand on Natasha’s creamy cheek. The CEO led her into the shower, warm water washing over them as the steam swirled around the room.

No words were spoken as they washed themselves, hands slowly moving to just touch the other, remind themselves that they were really together. Natasha grabbed Pepper’s hips, moving her against the shower wall, kissing her hungrily, desperately, teeth nipping at her Lover’s tongue. Pepper gasped, a small moan falling into Natasha’s mouth as her hands moved into the assassins hair, just the feel of her so close making her want to cry as well as grind against her until she came.

Natasha’s pale hands moved over her body, her lips slowly moving down her neck, sucking small marks into her skin, fingers pinching at her nipples. Small whines and moans came from the strawberry blond, the noises like music to Natasha. Scarlet lips ghosted over the tops of Pepper’s breasts, the Russian kneading the perky flesh in her hands as her lips wrapped around one nipple, sucking gently and wringing a cry of pleasure from the CEO.

“Oh yes... Natasha.... God yes....” she moaned, hiking one leg up around her lover’s hips. Long fingers tangled into Natasha’s crimson tresses, the CEO holding her right where she wanted her.

“Mmm....” Natasha hummed, shooting pleasure through Pepper’s body like an electric shock. The assassin moved to the other breasts, tongue swirling around the sensitive peak before closing her lips around it and sucking. The action brought a shout of pleasure out of the other woman, the noise echoing off the tiles.

“Natasha.... Yes!!” She cried, holding Natasha’s head closer to her body. Natasha smirked against her skin and pulled back, eyes locking with Pepper’s as she dropped to her knees, moving one long leg over her shoulder. The redhead kissed Pepper’s hips, fingers moving over her folds gently. Pepper gasped, head falling back against the shower wall.

Natasha leaned in, getting right to work and closing her lips over Pepper’s sensitive bundle of nerves, sliding a finger slowly into her lover. The CEO bucked her hips, hands fisting into Natasha’s hair, pulling gently. The redhead moaned against her, wringing a loud groan from Pepper.

“More... Please Tash...” she mumbled, gasping when Natasha obeyed, sliding three fingers inside her and fucking her with them. Natasha’s free hand moved down her body, her own fingers working her clit, making her buck against slightly. “Mmmm...” she moaned, tongue moving over Pepper with more enthusiasm, desperate to taste her.

Pepper gasped, her breathing hitched in her throat. “T-Ta-Tasha...” she panted out, feeling the familiar warmth pool in her belly. Natasha was close too, Pepper could see it in the way she grinded hopelessly against her own hand. “Mmm...” Natasha moaned out, gasping as she felt a gush of warmth against her hand, accompanied by Pepper’s wild moans and shouts.

“Natasha! Oh yes!” She yelled, tightening around her lover’s fingers. The redhead came on her own hand shortly after, moaning and panting against Pepper’s hip. Natasha licked Pepper clean, standing up after a few moments and licking her fingers clean with a smirk. She looked over at Pepper, the blissed out look on her face making Natasha want to grin. She forgot how much she loved seeing Pepper like this, eyes glazed over, mouth hung open ever so slightly, chest rising and falling in deep breaths.

It was gorgeous.

Pepper watched Natasha, a lazy smile pulling on the corner of her lips. The assassin was so graceful, no matter what she did. The CEO marveled as her pale fingers ran through blood red curls, water moving over her perfect skin, Pepper couldnt help but wrap her arms around the beautiful woman, leaving small kisses on her shoulder.

“I love you,” she whispered, hiding her face in the smooth expanse of the Widow’s neck. Natasha smiled and whispered her response, the pair standing there for a long while, just enjoying each others touch.

  
A few hours past and the couple is laying in bed, no words pass between them, just enjoying being together. Pepper opened her mouth to speak when Jarvis beat her to it.   
  
“Miss Potts, Mister Stark is approaching, he seems quite worried.” Pepper sighed and rolled out of bed, stopping quickly, “Nat... None of them know youre alive... We have to tell them!”   
  
Natasha bit her lip, “Okay... Fine... But not individually... Call an Avengers meeting or something....” she sighed, “Im putting everyone in danger by being here, I hope you all know.... You could be killed because of me,” Sadness melted into her eyes, almost like she was going to cry. Pepper moved over, kissing her lips in reassurance, she knew it was dangerous, but she lived with superheroes. She wasnt giving up the most important thing in her life because of a little challenge.  
  
There was a knock on the door and Natasha jumped, moving into the bathroom, she didnt want the others knowing just yet, maybe they’d all stay safe if she could find a way to keep the Red Room from knowing she was alive. She couldnt have more people killed because of her.  
  
Pepper answered the door with a small smile, “Hi Tony,” she mumbled, looking up at the billionaire. Tony pulled her into a tight hug, “God dammit Potts, you had me scared to death... You didnt come into work and you werent picking up your phone... and I...” he swallowed hard, finally releasing her from the bone crushing embrace.   
  
“Tony I’m okay... I promise... I just wasnt feeling too great,” she sighed, giving him a weak smile, “Can you do me a favor?” she asked, Tony nodded, “I think we should have a team lunch... Feels like forever since we’ve been together. I mean everyone, Jane, Darcy, and Phil too.”  
  
Tony raised a brow but nodded, he knew better than to question Pepper. “Meet around three then? I’ll have everyone in the conference room, thats big enough for us all to fit, right?”  
  
Pepper nodded and smiled, “Ill see you then Tony,” The Iron man nodded and gave her a quick hug before turning and retreating back towards his lab. Pepper sighed, moving back into the bedroom to find Natasha sitting on the bed, knees curled up to her chest.   
  
The redhead looked up as her lover stepped in the room, thoughts swam through her head; fear anger confusion, all of it overwhelming her. “Pepper....” she whispered, curling into the warm embrace of the CEO. No one ever saw Natasha break down, except for Pepper. She was always there, always ready to help put the redhead back together. 

Slowly but surely the strawberry blonde put the assassin back together. Piece by piece the pair worked, all the way up until the meeting started. Pepper was dressed in a loose button down and cut offs, what she would usually wear when not cramped up in the office. Natasha’s small body was swamped in a pair of jeans whose legs were too long and a teeshirt that almost fit her like a dress. Pepper shot her an apologetic look as the Russian rolled up the legs, making the pants at least somewhat wearable.

“I would have gone to get your clothes out of storage if I had time...” she mumbled, a feeling of guilt washing over her for not being strong enough to even look at her fiance's clothes still hanging in the closet. Natasha shook her head, wrapping her arms around the taller woman’s slender waist.

The whole team was already gathered in the conference room, chatting idly and munching on food. Pepper walked in, taking her seat at the head of the table between Tony and Steve. Everyone shot her small smiles with murmured greetings, all of them feeling sorry for her even after all these months.

They ate for a few moments, Pepper talking to Tony, repeatedly telling him she felt fine, that it was just a cough, etc. Finally conversation was dying down and people were exchanging ‘Is it time to leave yet?’ looks.

The CEO stood, clearing her throat and addressing the room, “I have an announcement,” she said sternly, trying to swallow the emotion in her throat. Tony looked at her with a raised eyebrow, everyone else looking on politely, Clint had his eyes on his uneaten plate of food, distractedly pushing its contents around.

Pepper shot him a small smile, knowing he would be as happy as she was. She stepped towards the door, “Guys...” she said, opening it to reveal Natasha. “Look who came home....” Everyone had the table let out a surprised gasp, eyes widened, jaws dropped and cups fell out of hands to the floor.

Natasha watched all of them, looks of shock and surprise, happiness and joy. It was all overwhelming. Thor spoke first, his voice a loud boom, “LADY NATASHA YOU HAVE RETURNED! HOW HAVE YOU SUCCEEDED IN SUCH A FEAT?” Clint was the first to reach her, grabbing her and pulling her into a bone crushing hug. Tears fell down his cheeks and his voice was breaking.

“Dont you ever fucking do that to me again... I swear to god....” He sobbed into her shoulder, Natasha holding him close, gad to have her friend back. Phil moved over and joined them, silent tears falling down his cheeks. “Tasha....” he mumbled, emotions washing over everyone.

The Russian was passed from hug to hug, everyone amazed that they actually had her back. Tears were shed, everyone glad to have their family reunited.

“Dont you ever leave us again...” Clint whispered in her ear as he released her from another hug. Natasha wrapped her arm around Pepper’s waist and smiled.

“Dont worry.... It takes a lot to get rid of me,”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Four to come soon! Sorry this took so long! Feedback appreciated!


	4. Paradise is Short Lived

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The redhead sighed happily as she slid into the familiar kevlar, her now long hair was pulled back into a ponytail and her guns and belts were secured in place, just like old times. She gave a small smile as her lover’s long slender arms slipped around her body, giving her a small squeeze before soft pink lips found their way to the assassins neck.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry this took so long! I have plans to do more chapters this week!

The weeks passed happily, Natasha and Pepper adjusting to being back together as well as the rest of the team relearning to set the table for one more after all those months. Clint was at her side almost as much as Pepper, refusing to let her go anywhere without knowing where she would be. SHIELD stayed away for a few weeks thanks to Phil, allowing her to adjust back into the land of the living. But sooner or later her return to work had to come. Phil showed up one morning, holding a brand new catsuit and redesigned widow’s bites from Tony.

  
The redhead sighed happily as she slid into the familiar kevlar, her now long hair was pulled back into a ponytail and her guns and belts were secured in place, just like old times. She gave a small smile as her lover’s long slender arms slipped around her body, giving her a small squeeze before soft pink lips found their way to the assassins neck.   
  
“Are you sure you have to go to work?” she whispered, looking into Natasha’s green eyes in the mirror, a small pout on her face. Natasha chuckled and turned in her arms, looking up at her lover due to ridiculously high heels.   
  
“Yes. I’m sorry Pep. I don't want to go, but apparently when you're dead for a few months a lot of paperwork piles up.” she chuckled and kissed her lover’s lips with a small hum. “Mm... Maybe I can be a few minutes late,” she grinned, pulling Pepper closer.   
  
The CEO let out a small giggle, blushing brightly as she returned the kisses, wrapping her arms around Natasha’s neck and kissing her passionately. “God I love you,” she whispered, her blue eyes locking with Natasha as she pulled back for air. Natasha grinned and cupped her face in her hands, “I love you too Pepper. More than anything...” she smiled and kissed her lips one more time.  
  
“Alright superspy you have to get to work and I’m already late,” Pepper teased, pulling back and picking up her purse, “See you for dinner tonight Nat?” The redhead grinned and nodded, kissing her cheek as she walked towards the door, “Of course darling, wouldn’t miss it for the world.”  
  
With one final goodbye the two were off to work, Natasha driving to the familiar headquarters and Pepper traveling down a few floors to the office levels of the Tower. The morning passed easily, Natasha sorting through files and welcome back messages and cards. Pepper worked through the latest “crisis” at Stark Industries, distracted easily by the constant emails and phone calls coming in to the CEO.  
  
As the strawberry blonde hung up from her fourth conference call that day she let out a sigh of relief and grabbed her cell, dialing Natasha’s number just to check up on her. The spy picked up on the second ring, “Hey gorgeous,” she said, leaning back in her desk chair with a smile.   
  
Pepper giggled softly at that, her cheeks flushing a bright pink. Oh the things Natasha made her feel. “Hey yourself,” she mumbled happily, “How’s being back on the job?” she asked, leaning back against her chair and biting her lip slightly.  
  
“Its work,” she said with a small chuckle, flipping through a file absently. “I forgot how much I missed it... Barton and Hill surprised me with a cake at lunch and Coulson bought me a brand new gun.” she smiled, “Its good to be back.”  
  
Pepper grinned at that, “I imagine so, well I miss you,” the CEO purred, Natasha smiled, “I miss you too baby, but you’ll see me in a few hours I promise.” Pepper chuckled and opened her mouth to speak again before Jarvis piped up.  
  
“Miss Potts it would appear that there are armed intruders in the tower.” The automated voice said, his tone nonchalante. Pepper gasped as she heard voices yelling in the hallway, a language she quickly identified as Russian.  
  
“Nat... Theres someone in the tower...” she whispered, hiding under her desk quickly. Natasha tensed, “Pepper, where are you?” she asked, her voice going stern as she stood, sending out a message to the avengers and raced out to one of the quinjets. “Pepper tell me whats happening...” she whispered, scared for her lover but trying to keep her calm.  
  
Peppers voice was ragged as she held back cries, “T-They’re at the door... Trying to break it... Nat I dont want to die...” she choked out, tears falling as she heard the wood start to give.  
  
“Pepper you wont die. I promise. Im on my way to get you.. I promise I’ll be th--” Her words were cut off by Pepper’s screaming as a man picked her up. The CEO kicked and and squirmed, landing a blow to one of the man’s face with her heel, giving her a small chance to get away. Another man came back and knocked her out with a punch to the face before picking up her limp form.   
  
The leader of the men picked up the phone and chuckled as he heard a nearly hysterical Natasha on the other end. “Hello.” He said, a thick russian accent clinging to his voice. Natasha tensed and growled “Ivan... What the hell do you want with her?”  
  


He laughed again, calling an order to the men before speaking into the phone. “You’ll have to wait and see...” The redhead cursed in Russian, yelling at Clint to fly faster. She began to speak to the man before being cut off.

 

“Come and get her Natalia.” he purred, before the line went silent. Natasha screamed and punched the wall of the jet, smashing the phone and nearly her hand. Steve and Thor got their arms around her and tried to calm her.

 

Finally they landed at the tower and Natasha was the first one inside. She ran into Pepper’s office and found a note on her desk written in bright red ink.

  
_Your move Natalia._


	5. The Bait

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “P-Please... What do you want with me?” she asked, fear obvious in her eyes. The man laughed and caressed her cheek, his eyes seeming to glow with evil. “Why my dear... You’re nothing but the bait....”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for bearing with me in time it takes me to post the chapters! There is a trigger of rape in this chapter!

Pepper blinked a few times, looking around and trying to find out where she was, “N-Natasha?” she mumbled, looking around for her lover. The CEO attempted to move, but found herself bound to a chair. Panic ran through her as she snapped fully awake, looking around and trying to squirm out of the restraints. The room was dark save a singular light bulb hanging above her head and the strawberry blonde could hardly see more than a few feet in front of her.  


  
A loud squeak was heard as the metal door strained to open and footsteps tapped along the floor. Pepper looked up, whimpering in fear as she caught sight of the man. He was tall wearing a black suit with a red tie, his hair slicked back and a wicked smile on his face.  
  


“Why hello there Miss Potts, did you enjoy your nap?” The man had an obvious Russian accent and Pepper leaned back as far as she could in her chair, her jaw was sore from being punched previously and a nice bruise was forming. The man grabbed her chin, making Pepper cry out.  
  


“P-Please... What do you want with me?” she asked, fear obvious in her eyes. The man laughed and caressed her cheek, his eyes seeming to glow with evil. “Why my dear... You’re nothing but the bait....”  
  
~~~~~~~~~ ** ******  
  


Natasha hadn’t slept since Pepper had been taken, she worked day and night trying to figure out where those bastards took Pepper. It had been three days since the abduction when all the screen in the conference room the Avengers were working in lit up.

 

“Hello Natalia,” the voice purred. Natasha tensed immediately, looking up and seeing the man standing beside a very pale Pepper Potts. The strawberry blonde whimpered and the man laughed, “I’m guessing I have your attention now.”

  


Natasha snarled and stood, “What do you want with her?” she asked, anger boiling inside her as she stared at the man. He smirked and chuckled darkly, “Isn’t it obvious Natalia? We want you. Surrender yourself to us or...” he turned, drawing a knife and slicing a thin line at Pepper’s cheek, making her scream.  
  


Clint and Steve wrapped their arms around Natasha, grabbing her and making sure she couldn’t cause any serious damage to herself or others in the room. The redhead shouted. “I WILL KILL YOU IF DARE LAY ONE MORE HAND ON HER! DON’T YOU DARE TOUCH HER!!”  
  
The man laughed and looked back at them, “Come and get her Natalia.” Before the screen went dark, the two men slowly released Natasha and she sunk into a chair, trembling with rage. Her voice was barely above a whisper, “They have her in Russia....”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ** ******  
  


Pepper whimpered as the man looked at her after the camera shut off, he ran his thumb over the gash in her cheek, making her cry out. “Please stop!” She begged, the man held the knife to her throat, drawing a near sob from her.

  
“No speaking Miss Potts, If you’re a good girl you will be rewarded, if you struggle or scream the punishments only get worse.” he purred, speaking as if he was talking to a child. He licked the blood from his thumb and Pepper shuddered, tears mixing with the blood as they moved down her cheek.  
  


He left her a while later, another man came in after some time, weather hours or a day she couldn’t tell. Time passed slowly for her in captivity. This man was with broad shoulders and a crescent shaped scar on one cheek. He untied Pepper’s bonds and grabbed her wrists, dragging her to another room. As she stumbled through the halls she tried desperately to search for an exit, though none could be identified. Everything was white, sterile, empty. The only splash of color in the place being the red ties the men wore.  
  


After a few minutes of walking she was brought into another room. There was no windows like the last but this one was bright, almost too bright to be comfortable. The fluorescent lights buzzed idly as she glanced around, there was a bed, if one could call it that. The mattress was thin though she knew it would be better than sleeping on the floor. A small bucket resided in the corner, she assumed this is where she was to relieve herself but the thing that caught and held her attention was a plate of food resting on a small table against the wall. The food wasn’t anything near gourmet but she was starving having gone almost four days without food or water.  
  


The man pushed her into the room and disappeared again, locking the door behind her. Pepper lunged forward and ate the food greedily, a small serving of vegetables with a piece of bread and a small slice of meat. Pepper didn’t care, she was starving, when the plate was cleared she heard the door open and whipped around, seeing the first man. She whimpered and moved back against the wall, trying to get away from him.  
  


He moved forward and smirked, “Are you going to be good for me Miss Potts?” he asked, raising a brow as he took off his tie and jacket, laying them on the table. Pepper whimpered and shook her head, “Please... I’m begging you, please don’t hurt me...” The man growled and moved forward, trying to pull at her clothes.

****

Pepper screamed and tried to push him off, ending up clawing at his face. The man hissed and pulled back before shouting in Russian, calling two large guards in. The two men picked up Pepper and restrained her to the bed. The CEO was sobbing, shaking her head and trying to get free. The Man moved forward again, removing his belt and smirking. “Be a good girl and maybe I’ll take away the restraints when I’m finished.” His hands moved forward and he pushed Pepper’s skirt up, moving her panties out of the way before forcing inside of her.

 

Pepper cried out in agony, sobbing and begging him to stop, blood moved down her thighs as he began to move into her. His hand wrapped around her neck, making the CEO sob even harder as she begged him to stop. The pain felt like it went on forever until the Russian finally released into her, he pulled out and smirked, pulling his clothes back on before leaving her in a mess of blood and semen.

****

She was restrained like that for hours until a guard was sent in, he removed the cuffs and restraints and left a glass of water on the table. After the man was gone Pepper slowly grabbed the water, downing it in one gulp. She crawled back into the bed and sobbed, silently begging for Natasha to find her.

 ** ******  
~~~~~~~~~  
  


Natasha and the other Avengers searched for weeks, on the one month mark since Pepper had been missing they received another video call from the kidnappers.

  
“Yoohoo.” The voice called over the screen, Natasha’s head snapped up and her eyes widened at the sight of Pepper. She was bruised blood was splattered along her suit. “Did you think we forgot about you Natalia? We still have your precious Pepper Potts,” Natasha snarled and Clint laid a hand on her shoulder. Tony and Jarvis were working fast to try and find their location.  
  


“If you surrender yourself to us she goes free,” he walked so he was standing behind Pepper, laying her hands on her shoulders, Pepper flinched. Natasha watched them, trying not to cry at the sight of Pepper’s condition. The man yanked Peppers hair back and held a knife to her throat, Natasha snarled and stood up, wishing she could lunge at him. The man laughed and looked at the camera.  
  


“What’s your move Natalia? Let her die?” He pressed the knife down slightly, “Or come back to us and let her live?” Pepper started sobbing as the man made like he was going to drag the knife.

  
“STOP!” Natasha shouted. “I’ll hand myself over....”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feedback is much appreciated!


	6. Let the Games Begin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Where is she? You said you would release her once you had me, Im here. Now let her go,” She growled, trying to pull her arms away from the men, their iron grips just grew tighter. “Now now now Natalia.... Did you really think I would release her after she’s become my new favorite toy?” Natashas eyes widened and she yelled, squirming wildly until something jabbed her neck and the world went dark.

Pepper sobbed as the knife pressed against her throat, though her own well being was pushed to the back of her mind as she heard her lover speak. She was going to give herself up. The CEO cried out, “Natasha no!” she shouted before a fist connected with her jaw.

  
“Quiet you!” The man shouted before turning to look back at the camera, a wicked smirk on his face as Pepper sobbed softly behind him. “Thats a good girl Natalia, you return to us and you precious Miss Potts will be returned to you, I will be in touch with the meeting location shortly. Ta ta for now,” he purred, the screen going black once again.  
  
Clint slammed a fist on the table, “Nat are you fucking crazy?! Do you really think those guys will give Pepper back if they have you?! You’ll be killed!” He ran a hand through his hair, looking at her sternly.  
  
“Clint I’ll be fine, I grew up with these assholes I can survive long enough for you guys to get Pepper and make sure she’s okay!” Natasha sat down and moved her hand over her face, the archer growled, “Do you really believe them?! They arent going to give Pepper back! They’ll probably end up killing both of you!” Tony jumped into the argument, “Clint she can handle it! Its the only way to get Pepper back!” Steve stopped him, “Tony lets think for a second! If we can find their location all of us can go in, end these guys get Pepper and make sure no one gets hurt!”  
  
Natasha growled and stood, slamming her fist down, “LISTEN ALL OF YOU!” she shouted, “I have a plan! Its getting late and they will probably want to see me tomorrow,” she lied, knowing the buzz of her phone in her hand was the location for the meeting point, “They’ll think I’m alone, Tony and Clint will be up high, Thor Bruce and Steve will hide, they will take me and you follow, get Pepper and I and get out.” She knew the plan held no point. She would be gone before sunrise.  
  
The Avengers continued to plan until Thor gave out a large roar of a yawn, “I suggest we all retire comrades.” Everyone agreed and soon left for their rooms, Natasha was slower, feigning exhaustion as she slipped into her room and out the window. The redhead ran as fast as she could, checking her phone to make sure she had the correct location as she arrived at a warehouse.   
  
The place was dark, abandoned, the only light being filtered from the moon through the grimy windows on the upper levels. The Widow glanced around, eyes working to adjust to the minimal lighting. Dust coated everything, a thin gray layer resting atop every surface as well as seeming to coat the air itself. A dark laugh came from behind her before two large men were on her, binding her easily when she didn’t struggle.   
  
“Ah Natalia, I always knew you were a good girl,” he purred, stepping forward and grabbing her chin. His left cheek held the evidence of his scratch at the hand of her lover and Natasha examined it curiously.   
  
“Where is she? You said you would release her once you had me, Im here. Now let her go,” She growled, trying to pull her arms away from the men, their iron grips just grew tighter. “Now now now Natalia.... Did you really think I would release her after she’s become my new favorite toy?” Natashas eyes widened and she yelled, squirming wildly until something jabbed her neck and the world went dark.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
“Shit...” Clint mumbled, checking Natasha’s room the next morning, he ran down the hall to the meeting room, looking at the others as he entered, all of them knew where she went though none of them wanted to believe it.   
  
Bruce ran a hand through his hair and looked up at Clint, speaking the question all of them knew the answer to though didn’t want to ask, “Shes gone.”  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  


Natasha’s eyes opened slightly, looking around the dark room. A muffled noise rang in her ears and she forced her eyes open, catching sight of her fiance chained to the wall, bound and gagged, her suit soiled and ripped and her body frail and her face pale.

 

“P-Pepper....?” she mumbled, trying to reach for her but found her body bound to a chair. “Pepper.... I’m going to get you out of here... Don’t worry....” she mumbled, trying to

get free of her binds. As she looked at them she realized wires were connected to her as well as binds and instantly her mind realized what it was. “No.... No...” she started to panic slightly realizing what they planned to do.  
  
The metal door squeaked loudly as it opened, revealing their captor. He smirked as he stepped inside, looking at the both of them. “Hm... Lovely reunion I hope,” he laughed and walked behind Natasha, a mechanical whirring filled the room and the assassin squirmed harder. Pepper pulled on the chains, desperate to help but she was so weak that she could barely move.  The man growled wickedly with a laugh. “Lets bring our Natalia home shall we?”   
  
Then the screaming began.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feedback is appreciated!


	7. Hearts Under Fire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The screams bounced off the walls, echoing back into the assassins own ears. Their captor let out a wicked laugh that made Natasha want to vomit. Her mind was fighting itself, the Widow forcing herself to the front while Natasha whined and arched out of the chair, trying to keep her back. The pain of it all was unbearable, like she was being stabbed all over her body repeatedly. Whines and whimpers left her lips and she tried to call to pepper though her words came out in a jumbled mess.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ugh so sorry this has taken so long to come out! My pepper muse hates me and didnt want to write ever. Special thanks to fix-meim-brokenxx.tumblr.com for being my Pepper!

Pepper looked at the floor, the dirt and stone making her eyes go numb with the lack of contrast or color. Her body weak and hanging by the chains that held her, she tried fighting back, but her arms felt like they weighed a ton. Her lips even felt so heavy, she could barely make words that even she could understand. Hearing the voices was like being underwater, she heard nothing and if her eyes moved from the floor, everything was blurry. Despite her weakness, she wouldn’t stop trying to fight back. With all the energy she had in her she lifted her head, her dull and tired blue eyes trying to focus on the crimson woman across from her. She could tell it was her love, the hair color was unmistakable. “Nnn..” She tried speaking her name but her lips were concrete, and her jaw refused to open, swollen from the fists to the fragile bone. Nothing felt broken, except the one thing that kept her alive; her heart. It was shattered into a million pieces, pieces small enough to be passed through an eye of a needle. “T-Tash” She muttered weakly. “L-le..er..g-go” she tried to fight and sound like she meant what she was trying to say. However upon hearing the scream Pepper fell limp even more and felt a fire try to ignite inside her.

 

The screams bounced off the walls, echoing back into the assassins own ears. Their captor let out a wicked laugh that made Natasha want to vomit. Her mind was fighting itself, the Widow forcing herself to the front while Natasha whined and arched out of the chair, trying to keep her back. The pain of it all was unbearable, like she was being stabbed all over her body repeatedly. Whines and whimpers left her lips and she tried to call to pepper though her words came out in a jumbled mess.

 

The mans large hand closed around her throat, cutting her off mid scream. "Don't fight it Natalia. You were born for this, you will feel nothing, you will come home to us and you will never be leaving again." He smirked, looking into the redhead’s eyes. The emerald color of her eyes slowly grew colder, the life and brightness draining, giving way to the cold almost dead shell that was the Black Widow. In one final attempt to hold off the monster within her, she cried out, her voice a soft sob that she knew Pepper would hear. "I'm sorry Pepper... I'm so sorry I couldn't save you...."

 

While all this was going on, Pepper could feel the energy build, coming from god knows where. Pepper planted a foot on the floor, her knees bloodied and scraped from the floor she fell to her knees on. “Stop it” She whispered, trying to find her voice. Her love must have been driving this, she could feel her heart suddenly start beating in her chest again. “Let her go” She mumbled but it fell on deaf ears, as they were being assaulted by the crackle of electricity, the hum of a current, and the deafening screams of her lover. All of the memories of her and Natasha, feeding her fire. She pushed down on the foot that was planted on the sandy stone and her body slowly rose, and she threw her other foot out to steady herself. Her shoulders hunched as she took in a deep breath, the blue in her eyes would have turned to a fiery red with the fire in her heart. With a loud yell she pulled against the chains. “Leave her alone!” She roared and heard the soft sob of her lover, “Don’t you dare apologize. None of this is your fault” She scolded in desperation to the emerald eyed woman looking at her. “Don't you dare leave me again!” She pleaded angrily and yanked on the chains once more.

 

The man in charge smacked Pepper across the face, drawing a roar of anger from Natasha. The assassin pulled on her restraints, trying to fight the war in her head. With a dark laugh the man pressed a button on the machine and Natasha let out a bloodcurdling cry she herself didn't even know she was capable of making before slumping down in the chair, the room eerily quiet as the machines were turned off.

 

The man clapped his hands like an excited child, laughing maniacally. He picked up Natasha's head and pet her crimson hair, "Oh Natalia it will be such a treat having you back," he turned to Pepper, letting the assassin slump down again. "Tell me Miss Potts," he spat her name, grabbing her by the throat and slamming her back against the wall, "Have you ever seen the Black Widow in action? Making a kill?" His smirk got wider, the image reminding Pepper of some twisted version of the Cheshire Cat. "No? Well I think you should witness it. Before I unleash her on you." He chuckled evilly and snapped, Natasha's head lifted slowly, her expression dark and emotionless.

 

The cry only fed her anger, like the anger fed Bruce when the other guy came out. If only she possessed ‘The Other Guy’ even for just a moment to get them both out of there, she would give anything. They could hit her into a coma and she’d come out swinging.

 

Pepper choked as the man gripped her throat, but her breath seethed through her teeth, stained a scarlet red, matching her lover’s hair. However the look on the woman’s face was far from distressed, she was irate. And she wasn’t about to give up without a fight. Snarling at the man at his question, “I’ve seen her hack off a few aliens. But I have seen worse things making a kill” She growled and spat in his face, earning her a rough trip down to the ground. Natasha couldn’t do that, they loved each other unconditionally and that love wasn’t easily washed away. But she knew that the poor woman was going through so much, her brain had to have been fried. “Nattie, honey please..don’t listen to these people” She begged her lover and staggered to her feet again earning another push back but she refused to go down.

 

The man shoved her down and walked to Natasha, slowly undoing her restraints. "Guards!" He called, smirking as he helped Natasha to her feet. "Natalia darling how would you like to have a little fun?" He said, his voice sick and twisted, sounding like nails on a chalkboard to the strawberry blonde. The assassin stood at attention, nodding once. "Whatever you wish comrade." Her voice holding a strong Russian accent.

 

More joyful claps came from the man, "Isn't she perfect, Virginia?" He cupped Natasha's cheek, "My greatest creation." He purred, turning as the guard came in, holding a very skinny and terrified looking man by the arms. "Oh perfect! I'm sure our Widow would love a little snack before moving onto someone a bit more... Spicy." His eyes moved over Peppers body and he laughed again. The prisoner was set in front of Natasha and a feral snarl left her lips.

 

"Natalia. Kill." He ordered, the Black Widow didn’t hesitate. She grabbed the man and slammed his face into her knee, blood from a broken nose staining her suit and hands before she grabbed his head once more, a sharp twist of her arms with a deafening crack sounded as the man slumped to the ground, dead.

 

Seeing her lover turn feral scared her right down to her core. How a human can go from rationale to instinctive boggled her mind. Pepper would have thrown up if she had anything to come up, but her stomach was empty and aching for something. “Natasha..” She gasped and stared at her redhead love. No longer seeing the woman she fell in love with. Seeing the focus shift to her Pepper got up and recoiled as much as her restraints would allow. “N-No..Dont..I-I’ll do anything you want. Dont..” She stammered and tried pulling desperately at her restraints. Seeing Natasha stare at her like a lion with its live prey in the cage with her, scared her out of her right mind.

 

The redhead snarled and grabbed the other woman by the jaw, the blood on her hand smearing over her freckled skin. "My name. Is not. Natasha." She barked, her accent making the words sound even more menacing. The man laughed and bounced up and down excitedly. "Natalia back. We wouldn't want you to spoil your play thing right away now would we?" He asked, wrapping an arm around her hips when she came back to him. "No comrade." She said automatically, her eyes narrowed at Pepper like an animal analyzing its meal.

 

With a childlike grin the man leaned in close to Natasha, his hands moving over her body, just showing off the control he had over her to Pepper. The man turned Natasha's head and kissed her filthily, all tongues and teeth and Natasha responded enthusiastically. When he pulled back the man smirked at Pepper.

 

"She's mine Miss Potts."

 

The moment she looked in the Assassin’s eyes, she could no longer see her lover, all she saw was the shell left behind by the beautiful soul that was chased out. Pepper felt numb down to the very core. She didnt even feel when she was dropped, but she felt her whole world crumble down around her when she saw the two lock lips. There were no words that described the feeling you get when the one you love more than anything in this world...was kissing someone else. It was one thing when it was one sided, but she kissed him back! Her Natasha was so far gone. Would she ever get her back? At this rate, she’d waste away before she could even make the attempt to. Pepper’s head fell, and a tear fell to the sand under her face, “I’m sorry...I’m so sorry” She whispered.

 

The man laughed again, the sound echoing off the walls. "Oh Pepper dear, why be sorry? Can't you see how happy she is," he said with a gesture to the expressionless assassin, her eyes dark with an evil Pepper had never seen in her before. "She's free Miss Potts. This is who she truly is. The Black Widow you knew is gone," he walked over and poked her nose, "and she. Is never. Coming. Back." He grinned and called in a guard, the man took pepper off the wall and dragged her towards another cell, Natasha and the man followed.

 

"Natalia dear, I'm rewarding you, you see Miss Potts here needs to be taken care of, and she is your next target to do with as you please." He purred, looking at Natasha like she was some trophy. "Thank you comrade." Natasha said with a wicked purr, following the guard into the cell. "Have fun Natalia! Perhaps if you finish her quickly you and I may have our own fun." He winked and Natasha gave him a flirtatious smile before turning to pepper who had been dropped I'm the corner. Her expression changed from flirty to deadly in seconds and Pepper could almost feel the evil rolling off the Widow in waves.

 

Pepper sat against the wall, not making eye contact with the woman she was in the cell with, she had been silent since she was released from her chains. Knowing that making eye contact with a predator would certainly be asking for a quick death, and showing a passive aggression would be asking for a slower death. She just showed no interest at all, she didnt care at this point. Whether or not she lived or died. And if it was by her lover’s hands then so be it. “If you’re gonna do it be quick about it. But I know you’re in there Nat” She told the woman standing above her.

 

"Oh I won't be quick." She growled, grabbing her by the hair and yanking her to her feet. She starts pulling at Peppers clothes, ripping at her shirt and already destroyed blazer. "You're a pretty one. Not often I get a toy I can play with." Natasha said, already trying to grind herself against Pepper. "I can't wait to use that pretty little mouth of yours, and when I'm all finished...maybe I'll kill you quickly."

 

She cried softly at the sharp pull on her hair, leaving her no choice but to comply with the Russian. However when she tried getting her clothes off, Pepper struggled and tried to slip away from her hands. Feeling her hips grind on hers wasn’t like it used to be, it felt so wrong! Pepper growled and slapped the woman across the face. Her non-existent fear of dying showing all of its glory; defying someone that could easily kill her with one swift twist and not a second thought. “Natasha Romanov! I know you’re in there damn you” She gripped the other woman by the collar of her suit. “Dont let these monsters take you away from me...Tasha please” She used her old nickname in hopes to snap her out just enough to keep the woman from killing her.

 

Natasha snarled at the slap but froze when Pepper began speaking. Her mind fought to process the words and her body tensed at the touch of the other woman. "P-Pep...." She tried to say her name, a brief flash of life in her eyes for a moment before it was sucked away and she stumbled backwards. "N-no... No..." She mumbled, dropping down to her knees. "I..you...th-..." She tried to speak but nothing was coming out. Her eyes glazed over and she started trembling, mumbling in Russian, her sightless eyes trained on Pepper.

 

“Tasha, baby its me” She nodded and knelt down when she went down. “Breathe love...please..” She begged her. Moving just a little closer and held her hand out to the woman, “You are Natasha Romanov. You’re not Natalia or whatever they wanna call you. You’re my Nattie...you always will be” She said softly, her voice tight with tears. She wanted to gather her love in her arms and never let her go, and never let another thing happen to her lover. Ever again.

 

The voice and words echoed in her head and she scooted backwards, trying to get up. "No..." She growled, the Widow trying to take over again. A guard came in, shoving Pepper back before calling to the others to restrain Natasha. She squirmed and cried out, more guards scooped her up and dragged her to a cell across the way, leaving the redhead to curl up in the corner, her mind fighting to destroy itself.

 

“N-No!” She reached out to grab her only the guard kicked her back making her hit her head on the bench that was in there and send her in a daze. “Nat I’m getting you out of here..I promise!!” She cried after her and plastered herself against the bars of her cell. “You hear me!?” She cried and slammed her hands on the steel bars with a loud growl.

 

The guard kicked at Peppers cell, "get back!" He ordered, Natasha just sat in a silent daze, her eyes focused on something far off. The leader came down and grabbed Pepper through the bars, "What the fuck did you do?" He growled, grabbing her neck. Natasha mumbled something in Russian, the same phrase over and over again and the man dropped Pepper, walking over to Natasha. "Natalia." He snarled, trying to get her attention. "NATALIA." He shouted, stepping into the cell and smacking her when she didn't respond. Natasha let out a feral snarl and lunged at him, pinning the man to the cage wall. Guards rush in and pry the widow off and the man punched her in the stomach and chest repeatedly. "YOU WILL NOT DISOBEY ME!" He shouted between punches, finally letting the redhead drop before exiting with a snarl in rapid Russian.

 

“Nat!” She cried and tried reaching through the bars. Seeing her like this broke her down to dust, but something made her keep trying. “Natasha..” She whimpered. “Look at me..Krasiva..” She pleaded with her and managed to finger at her pant leg. Until her hand was kicked away she shot back up and grabbed the guard, ending up being a little more forceful than he was used to. Pulling him hard against the bars, hearing the crack and ring of his head slamming into the steel. “Do that again and I swear, you will be the first person to be pulled through these bars. I dont care how many bones have to break” She snarled at the guard. The man made a small noise of pain and scrambled away.

 

Natasha lay on the floor of her cell, her eyes staring aimlessly, blood staining her lips and dripping from her mouth to the floor. The red stained the white concrete and Natasha didn't even seem to care. Her firmly bright emerald eyes looked almost lifeless, only the movement of her eyelids to blink gave away that she was even alive. Guards passed by, throwing things at the Widow, laughing when rocks and trash hit her and she didn't even flinch. The redhead just lay there save the occasional outburst of lunging at the bars. She was like an animal, her eyes cold and lifeless when she tried to jump to make a kill, only to be stopped by the cold steel of the cage she was trapped in.

  
  


Pepper watched in agony, there was nothing she could do, she was trapped behind these bars, they both were. Like a couple of animals, being taunted at the zoo, she wanted so much to break out of these bars and save the one she loved more than her own life. “Stop it!” Her cries fell on deaf ears. If anything she’d want it to happen to her, it wasn’t fair, Nat went through enough. She prayed that it would soon be her turn to be treated like an animal. “Please” She cried seeing her throw herself against the cold steel bars. “Nat, Nat honey look at me” She called from across the hall to her cell. “Keep your eyes on me..” She told her.

 

Natasha didnt listen to her lover, she just snarled and tried to grab at anyone who got too close. She was about to ram herself into the cage again when an alarm went off and she went still backing away into the corner and curling into a ball, her eyes staring aimlessly. Avengers voices could be heard, shouting for them as guards burst into the assassins cell, dragging her from the cage. Her lifeless eyes locked with Peppers for a moment, a silent plea in her look. "Help me."

 

Tony and Clint found Pepper first and Iron Man broke the lock, scooping pepper up. He flew toward the exit, telling Clint to find Tasha. "You're gonna be okay Pepper! We've gotcha!"

 

It all happened so quick in her eyes, one moment she was staring into the flash of her old lover in the Assassin’s eyes, then she was being carried away from her. “No! Tony No we can’t leave her!” She panicked and tried to pull from him as he flew, making his flight stumble.

 

“Pepper stop. They’re getting her.” He struggled to keep a hold on her, however it took his attention away from where he was going. He looked up seeing a wall closing in on him, “Shit” He grabbed her tight and cradled her head close as he pulled up and shot through the ceiling to avoid getting accordion’ed by a concrete wall.

 

When Tony landed with her at their hidden headquarters, Pepper desperately tried pushing away from him. “Tony..Please she--she’ll kill them!” She told him as he let her go and stepped out of his suit. “Pepper, Pepperpepperpeppr” He tried calming down the hysterical woman in front of him. “Look at me okay?” He took her shoulders gently but his eyes tried to hook onto hers. “They’ll be okay, she’ll be okay..Pepper We’re gonna fix this..” He told her.

  
Just then there was a commotion of familiar snarls and struggles. Pepper looked past her friend and saw Natasha being drug in with a set of SHIELD restraints around her wrists and ankles, looking like she was some kind of animal, captured in someone’s back yard. “Dammit Nat!” Clint grunted as the woman continued to fight. Tony looked over at them then back to Pepper, noticing how green she suddenly became. “Pep..?” Pepper just uttered a sickly groan and wobbled on her feet, and her face went pale before she fell back with a sickening crack coming from her skull as she hit the tempered concrete floor.


	8. A Light In the Dark

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The billionaire complied, jumping back into his suit to scan Pepper. He wanted to vomit at the sight of the injuries, internal and external, that she had, but one thing in particular caught his eye: her heart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Special thanks to fix-meim-brokenxx.tumblr.com for being my co author! Feedback appreciated!

Pepper hit the ground, and, less than a second later, Tony was out of his suit and holding his best friend. "Pepper?!" he asked, his fingers probing her black and blue, bruised neck for a pulse. "Shit. Shit..."

"Bruce!" he shouted, grabbing at the doctor. Luckily for them, Bruce had “the other guy” sit out this battle, and now he sat looking for a pulse.

"Tony, use Jarvis and scan her. I can't tell what's wrong, but I'm not letting her die out here!"

The billionaire complied, jumping back into his suit to scan Pepper. He wanted to vomit at the sight of the injuries, internal and external, that she had, but one thing in particular caught his eye: her heart.

Those monsters had beat her so badly, it had ruptured. Tons of blood vessels leading to her heart had been destroyed.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck!" he shouted, watching anxiously as her heart rate dropped. Tony pushed Bruce back as he scooped up Pepper. "We need to get her on an operating table...now."

Clint and Steve spotted the guards, armed and standing by Natasha’s cell. Meanwhile, Natasha had just been ripped away from her friends and thrown in there like she was a worthless sack of bones. The armed guards made even the toughest men feel sick—especially the archer; he rarely felt remorse, but knowing that Natasha had been broken down into this state...it just wasn’t right, he thought. It hurt him to see her like this.

“Boys,” Steve spoke at last, “we’re good here.” He waved them off; however, the guard shook his head and sternly said, “I’m afraid we’re here under Fury’s orders, as well as the that of the council’s.”

“Fucking Fury,” Clint snarled under his breath.

As Steve moved towards the cell, another guard jumped in front of him to block his path. “We’re bringing her in for interrogation,” he said.

“All interrogations will be done here. She will not leave her cell.”

~

Tony stared at his friend’s body on the hospital bed, unable to shake the mental image of her blood on his hands. Suddenly, a glow shone through the bandages across her chest. The deep bruises on her jaw and face were still present, but Tony noticed that her eye had finally stopped swelling.

“Pepper...” he muttered. “I’m sorry...” He had never wished or wanted anyone to have one of...those, like he did. “I’m so sorry. You shouldn’t have that.” He glanced over at the reactor now sitting in her chest. “I’ll, uh...I’ll fix it up with the looks later. I kinda’ made it on the fly; I didn’t have much time to design it,” he told her, taking note of the shoddy design of hers versus the one of the reactor in his chest. He could picture it now: the smooth triangle, sitting in the circle. “I guess we can work it out. It could be like a belly button ring...I can do whatever you want, Pepper: a flower, a moon...whatever.” He chuckled a bit. Pepper could just barely hear his voice, and he knew that, if she was fully awake, the muscles around her mouth would have twitched up in a smile.

She finally started coming around, and she could hear her heart beating in her ears again, but this incredible soreness in her chest was what knocked her from her sleep. A groan moved past her lips and Tony picked his head up. “Pepper? Hey you’re okay” He told her and gently rested his hand on a less bruised spot on her cheek. “W-where--” She stammered and looked up at him. “You’re in the medical bay..we’re at Shield.”

Hearing the word 'shield' brought a familiar pain to her chest, not from the new glowing addition but for the redhead she assumed was somewhere on the campus. "N-na...nat...." The CEO choked out. Tony took her hand. "She's safe... They're trying to fix her Pep... I don't know..." He started, not wanting to tell her that all they were trying wasn't working. He didn't approve of half of what they were doing with her but he wanted their Natasha back. He wanted Pepper to have her Natasha back.

Three floors below the medbay the redheaded assassin sat in her cage, staring sightless straight ahead. Coulson sat in a chair by the bars. "Natasha..." He whispered, trying to get her attention. "Come back to us. Pepper needs you, Clint needs you. I need you my Ballerina... We already lost you once, don't make us have to lose you for real." The redhead stared on, not a movement made. Guards came towards the cell, yet another scientist with them to conduct today's experiment to try and bring her back.

Shock therapy was on today's agenda, she made no move or sound through the first several shocks. The doctor was growing tired of this and turned it up, drawing a pained cry from the assassin that echoed throughout the facility.

Pepper was awake enough to hear the cry and her blood ran cold. “Tony..Tony what are they doing to her?” She moved to get up and pushed his arm away as he tried to keep her down. “No! They’re going to make it worse!” She protested and Tony put some strength behind his hold on her. “Okay well you don’t have to get up so fast. I don’t know what they’re doing” He told her and slowly allowed her to stand. “First you have to put a shirt on, I don't think Natasha would appreciate your chest out for everyone to see. She’ll have my head once she knows I put that in you” He told her and pointed at the reactor.

“Why did you?” Pepper asked him.

“Well I didn’t mean to they were just you know there and--”  

“Not my boobs, I don’t care about that, I’m talking about the reactor”

Tony fell silent and sighed, “You were dying..” He said quietly and sat next to her on the bed. “I..I couldn't lose someone else..And those monsters broke a lot of vessels leading to your heart..it was getting weaker.”

Pepper took a moment to listen to him speak, her mind going back to the painful cries. Oblivious to the horrors that were being inflicted on her lover. “Tony..can...Am I allowed to see her?”

Tony shook his head, “I tried already..I can’t even see her. Shield has her locked up so tight, Coulson has to go through a whole process to see her. Even if he takes a break to take a piss.” He ran a hand over his face.

Pepper’s eyes stung with tears. “I need to see her” The redhead cried and rested her head on her friend’s shoulder. “She needs me..”

Coulson hated watching his little girl go through this torture especially after what he knew of her upbringing. The doctor shocked her again, drawing an even louder scream from her. A word fell from the redheads lips and coulson jumped up. "STOP! STOP! She's trying to say something." The doctor backed up and Natasha whined, her head falling forward. "Natasha? Natasha talk to me, what did you just say."

The assassin whined and slowly looked up at him, "P-Pe...Pep....." She couldn't finish before passing out from the pain. Everyone looked to coulson and he snapped at one of the guards. "Get Pepper Potts down here now."

Pepper sat in silence with Tony at her side up until she saw Steve flash by the windows and heading right into their room. “Miss Potts, how are you feeling?” He asked stepping in and resting a hand on her shoulder. “Like hell” She mumbled and Steve smiled. “But alive” She added with a smirk. “What’s going on, where’s Nat?” She asked him.

“She’s downstairs, that’s why I came up here..She’s asking for you. Can you make it down there on your own?” He asked her and Pepper picked herself up. “I’ll get down there one way or another” Pepper said determinedly and started to move to her feet. The two men moving right to her side to support her and take her downstairs.

Pepper’s stomach twisted and she instinctively put a hand to her mouth seeing Natasha hooked up to all those wires, and instantly she knew what they were doing to her. She stumbled to the door and pulled at the knob. “Please..Please let me in there” She begged frantically, the guard coming over to unlock the door. “Nattie” She cried softly and stumbled in but kept on her feet. “Baby I’m here” She spoke to her and ripped the wires off her with a aggravated cry.  

Natasha was slumped in the chair, her eyes half open, she felt some hands on her and she gasped, pressing back against the chair with a growl in Russian. Before pepper knew what happened Coulson had pulled her back just out of reach of the redhead. "She's unstable Pepper. She tried to say your name but we don't know why she wants you...." Natasha's cold lifeless eyes trained on the other redhead, her face expression blank. The scientist stepped in with a guard and started looking over Natasha, he jotted something down before hooking up different wires.

"Next test." The man said, walking over to a little machine, "Natasha. Who is in front of you?" She stayed silent despite the shock running through her body. "Natasha." The man repeated, shocking her and forcing her to arch off the chair. "That's not my name." She snarled in a thick Russian accent.

Pepper struggled against Coulson, “Phil no!” She struggled, “You dont know that! You dont even give her a chance!” She hissed and watched the Doctor go back over to her. The man causing her pain. A snarl left Pepper’s lip, her eyes locked on the guy as he hooked her up again to the horrible machine. “Phil Stop him! Please! Stop hurting her!” She cried and growled at the doctor.

Pepper screamed hearing the electric surge and hum through her lover’s body, the arch of her back sickening to look at. “Natasha!” She cried. How could Shield let this happen?! They were supposed to be on their side. Not like this. It wasn’t supposed to be like this. “Stop please!” She cried until she tasted blood in the back of her throat. “Give her a chance! You’re making it worse.” She pleaded with them. “Stop it..Shocking her is how they got her like this!” Her cries seemed to fall on deaf ears and she shoved hard against Coulson and kicked over the tray with supplies, the loud metal clattering on the floor. “Is anyone fucking listening to me!?”

Natasha growled and flinched at the loud bang, she hissed a curse under her breath and tipped the chair she was restrained to. "Prepare to die you American scum!" She snarled, jumping and smashing the chair against the bars before running at the scientist and slamming him into the wall. An alarm sounded and coulson and Tony pulled pepper from the cell as guards swarmed.

The scientist pleaded for his life but his cries fell on deaf ears, the Black Widow growled something in Russian before snapping the mans neck. Guards attempted restrained Natasha once again, her squirming and cries intensified, fighting to get free of them.

Finally she was stabbed in the neck with a seditative, her whole body slumping to the floor.

“You’re all idiots!” She screamed and pushed away from the people holding her. “Let me in or I swear to god I’ll make sure you wont get a job at a gas station” She snarled up at the guards who had a good foot on her in height. Ignoring the body being taken from the cell. “Just stay away from us. All of you” She snapped and kneeled down at Natasha’s side. “Come on..let’s get you somewhere comfortable” She said softly to the barely conscious woman. Despite the way she was being treated, she saw her Nattie in there, and wanted to take care of her in any way she could.

Tony watched and sighed pushing past the guards as well, “I’m only helping” He told Pepper who shot him a defensive look, “Let’s get her on the bed” He told her quietly and lifted the limp body up, as Pepper cradled her head.

Tony set her down gently on the small bed in the room as Pepper pulled the covers back. “Thanks Tony..” She mumbled and draped the sheets over Natasha, sitting down by her side. “Pepper you should..” Pepper looked up with pleading eyes, “Be careful..we’re going to be right outside.” He said softly before leaving the room.

Pepper sighed and the tears came, “Everyone’s treating you like a monster..” She sobbed softly resting her head on the woman’s shoulder. “You’re not a monster...I know you’re not.” She spoke tearfully. “They wont even give you a chance.  A single chance to speak for yourself...Well I’m here. I wanna listen”

Natasha was unconscious still when Clint came in. "Pep?" He asked, sitting down beside the redhead. His blue eyes scanned over his partners face, sadness in her eyes. "We'll get her back," he whispered, "Our Natasha's in there somewhere, I know she is." He gently took Peppers hand, giving it a small reassuring squeze. "I've seen her at her worst, seen what she claims is the monster inside her. I've seen her fight it, and I know she can do it again." He smiled weakly, reaching down and squeezing Natasha hand. "C'mon nat. I know you're in there. Don't leave us here without you to keep us in line." He tried to chuckle but it came out as an almost sob.

Pepper looked up at him but her eyes soon snapped back to her lover on the bed. Wishing she could just lay down and snuggle up to her like she always did, when Natasha was feeling sick, or if she was feeling sick herself. And that’s basically what was happening here, her Nattie was sick, and all she wanted to do was curl up with her and make her feel better. “She’ll be okay..” Pepper said quietly hearing the sob on Clint’s voice. “She wouldn’t let these guys get away with what they’ve done. I can't wait to see what she’ll do to em once she snaps out of this” she almost chuckled. Pepper looked back to Natasha’s hands and gently took them both in her own hands. “I wont leave her. No matter what”

"Pep." He started, pausing and hating himself for what he had to say, "Natasha's in there, but she's clearly not in control... If she hurts you she's gonna hate herself when she snaps out of it... Phil says you can visit anytime but it'd be safer if when she's awake you're on the other side of the bars..." He saw her about to protest but held up his hands, "pep. Think about this, she's already going to hate herself for putting you in danger, if she's the one who hurts you.... It'll kill her. She won't be able to handle it."

The redhead made a small noise in her unconscious state and her brows furrowed before relaxing again. Clint watched her, making sure she was asleep before speaking again. "She would kill me if I let her hurt you, and I'm Pretty fond of living."

“And if she gets hurt or if they even kill her, I’m no good alive.” She told him and looked back at Natasha as she stirred. “If she’s actually dead..I dont..I cant live without her Clint.” She said softly and rested her chin in her hand. “You saw me before..when I thought she was gone, I was wasting away to nothing. I wanted to. I couldn’t be here without her--”

“Pepper, dont say that, look you said so yourself...She wouldn’t allow you to do that, she would have slapped you silly to hear you talk like this. And if she was with it now she certainly would be.” Clint stopped her and gently took her shoulders gently in his hands, trying to calm Pepper down.

Natashas eyes fluttered for a moment and she groaned, trying to wake up. Clint instinctively pulled Pepper away from the bed, moving her behind him in case Natasha was still in her murderous state. He saw the look Pepper gave him and shot an apologetic one back. “Nat?” the archer asked, slowly approaching the redhead. Green eyes snapped up to look at him and in a second Natasha was out of the bed and pressed against the far wall, fear flashing in her emerald eyes.

Clint’s hands went up to show he wasn’t armed. “Tasha... Nat you’re safe, we won’t hurt you.” he promised, trying to ease her down enough to talk to them. “Do you remember us Natasha? Pepper and Clint? I’m your partner, we work together,” he spoke softly, as if he was speaking to a small child. Natasha watched them carefully, slowly shifting down to sitting with her knees curled into her chest. Her eyes stayed trained on them, not a word or a sound coming from her scarlet lips.

Pepper weaseled her way from Clint’s hold, “Clint..” She told him as he went to take her again before she moved closer to Natasha. “It’s okay..” She mouthed and turned back to face her lover and get down on her own hands and knees. Getting down to her level instead of towering over her like she was a threat. “Nattie, you’re alright.” She whispered and the woman recoiled with a grunt, hitting her elbow on the frame of the bed. “Easy, love.” She whispered and sat in front of her. “It’s me. You remember me don’t you?” Pepper asked and placed her hand between them.

The assassin looked at her with an emotionless mask, her mind fighting to remember the familiar face. She recalled seeing that face before, though her memories were in a fog. “I...I...” she started though was quickly cut off when the door opened to reveal guards. Natasha immediately jumped and scooted into the corner, fear showing in her eyes.

Clint growled, standing protectively between the guards and the two redheads on the floor. “What do you want?!” he asked the men, putting on the most intimidating look he could manage. The guard nodded and two more came in, going in for Natasha. “Fury wants to see her.”

Natasha tried to get away when the men grabbed her arms, the third holding Pepper back so she wouldn’t cause problems. The Black Widow shot her a pleading look, squirming against the men’s grips. “N-No...” she mumbled, whining to herself.

“Please! Goddammit Stop doing this to her! She’s not an animal!” Pepper sobbed desperately seeing the plea in the woman’s eyes. Seeing her dragged away like that infuriated her, the bandage and shirt covering her reactor could no longer dim the glow that grew with her anger.

“Pepper no..Dont you-- Damn” Clint sighed before he could stop Pepper from leaving down the hall.

Pepper marched right into where Tony kept his suits on the weapons floor of the building. All of the guards’ focus was on the assassin upstairs, so it wasn’t hard for her to sneak past and steal what she could. “Okay.. so how does this..” She held her hand out like she’s seen Tony do before. Nothing, the suit was still off and it stayed as still as a statue. “Come on” She sighed and flicked her wrist. Again nothing. With a frustrated groan she heard voices approaching. “Dammit Jarvis come on!” She hissed and threw both of her hands out and two gauntlets latched onto her arms. The noise was enough to grab the passing guards’ attention, however laying eyes on Pepper with two gauntlets aimed right at them they began to stand down.

Pepper just smirked and fired at them both before making a break for the exit and to find a way up to Fury before things got out of hand where he was.

Upstairs Natasha was restrained to a chair, Fury and several others stood in front of her. Fear showed obviously on her face. “P-Please.... L-Le-Let me go...” she said softly, Russian accent still clinging to her words.

Fury nodded and scientists moved over, connecting Natasha to wires she was all too familiar with at this point. “I’m sorry It has to be like this Agent Romanoff. But you’re too dangerous. We need to get our Agent back... at any costs.”

The scientists started turning on machines and checking the redheads vitals as she squirmed, unsure of what was happening to her. Pain surged through her body and she let out scream, arching out of the chair. She felt her mind fighting itself once more, the Black Widow side of her clinging for control and not caring how bad she left Natasha injured.

“P-Please!” she cried out, starting to sob as more pain surged, “PLEASE STOP!”

Pepper walked in on the procedures and her armored fists clenched hard at her sides, the repulsors charging and glowing brighter, the wires connecting them glowed under her shirt as they attached to the chest RT. The guards made a move to stop her until she raised her armed hands. “Take one step closer and I swear I will blow you up.”

“Shit..” Tony gulped from the doorway he had rushed into hearing the screams.

“Let her go Fury” Pepper snarled and took a step closer, having the whole room under her own hands. “You! Turn that off and step away from it” She barked at the technician who obediently shut the machine down, causing Natasha’s body to slump in the chair and be rid of the pain.

“Miss Potts, you are unauthorized to be in here, or in the weapon’s bay. This is a punishable offense.”

“And so is this!” She motioned to what they were doing to Natasha, “Treating her like this!” She protested.

“We have reasons--”

“There is no fucking excuse!” She cried and aimed a repulsor right Fury. The team jumping to help but realized how sensitive this was.

Clint stepped up and moved in front of the team. “Fury just let her go. Trust her on this..”

“How in the hell am I gonna trust the woman with a gun or whatever pointed in my face, Barton?”

“Oh, you better trust I don't shoot you where you stand if you don't let her go.” Pepper snarled and looked to the technician then the doctor. Snatching him up and pressing her lit palm against his head. “Let her go. Or he dies”

The man in her grasp whined, squirming wildly. “I was just following orders! I didnt mean! I did--” Fury cut him off. “Quiet. Potts. He’s an innocent man, think of what you're doing, you would kill a man for her?” he pointed to Natasha. “Shes not the woman you know any more Pepper. Trust me.”

Natasha let out a small whine, trying to wake herself up. Fury looked at her, “Keep her restrained,” he ordered guards, “I won’t have anymore of my men killed by this monster.” The redhead blinked a few times, looking around in confusion. “P-Pe.....” she started, trying to speak despite confusion clouding her mind. One word finally formed on her lips.

“Pepper....”


	9. Hearts A Mess

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Slowly but surely she was beginning to remember small things. She could recognize faces, identify agents and Avengers that passed by her cell. This was always frustrating, knowing a name and a face but not knowing the person. The murderous outbreaks had subsided, no more doctors or agents had been killed at her hands and Fury had slowly began to relax about not keeping her restrained all the time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feedback appreciated:)

Pepper waited until the entire campus was quiet for the night, sneaking out of her room, Jarvis hacking into the cameras, turning her invisible to any of the late night security monitors. Managing to make it silently down the stairs, moving with cat like agility, at least by her standards, her feet made very little noise. The floor with her lover’s cell was dark, and no one could be seen, not even a nightly guard.

 

Swiftly moving in on the cell she could use the light from her reactor to see where her Natasha was. Curled up..under the bed. Pepper sighed and rolled her eyes, she’s found her in crazier places asleep. “Nattie..” she whispered hoping she’d hear and not wake up the whole place. “Nat..Baby wake up”

 

Natashas eyes opened when she heard the familiar voice and she slowly moved out from under the bed, coming to sit beside the bars and look at Pepper. The assassin was skinnier, her usually voluptuous body had wasted away to a skinny thing, bones more prominent through pale skin.

 

Slowly but surely she was beginning to remember small things. She could recognize faces, identify agents and Avengers that passed by her cell. This was always frustrating, knowing a name and a face but not knowing the person. The murderous outbreaks had subsided, no more doctors or agents had been killed at her hands and Fury had slowly began to relax about not keeping her restrained all the time.

 

Pepper sat down right outside the bars to the cage her lover was locked up in, putting her hand through as an offer for the other redhead to take it. Her offer had been declined every time she had come to visit though she still left her hand resting there. Natasha never spoke, just listened to the stories Pepper had to tell, hoping that her memories would come back to her. Some nights Pepper thought Natasha wasn’t even listening, though she would ask and those emerald eyes would meet hers for a fraction of a second, signalling her interest.

 

Pepper saw how frail the once strong woman looked, however she knew that strength was in there, she was sure of it. It sparkled dimly in her emerald eyes, “what have they done to you..” She sighed seeing the light from her chest cast sharp shadows against her cheekbones, her green eyes flicked to her chest, and the assassin licked her lips seeing the light from her reactor. “Yes..I have one now..My heart was failing” She told her as her emerald pools stayed locked on it. The color of her eyes mixed with the blue-ish light, “Nattie, are you okay? Will you speak to me tonight?” Pepper asked softly and her hand slowly moved through the bars to brush against her frail fingers on the floor. “Please..I miss hearing your voice...” She whispered and her head fell on the bars. The familiar fruity perfume that Natasha wore was gone from her skin, now replaced with the less than flattering body odor they used to tease and blame each other for. “You stink” She half chuckled and smiled gently. “When you’re better, we’re going to a spa, getting pampered, just like you’ve always wanted to do..but you were always working when I was free..But we’re doing it this time. I promise. We’ll get our nails done..maybe even get our hair done too..” She smiled and tried catching her emerald pearls with her blue ones. “Would you like that? Then we’ll go to Golden Corral and eat everything in the buffet” She smirked. “Throw chocolate marshmallows at each other from the wonderfall.”

 

Natasha furrowed her brows slightly, trying to remember wanting to go to a spa. She couldn’t do it and tears pooled in her eyes, desperate to understand everything that was happening. Pepper saw her tears and frowned, “Nattie... Nattie what's wrong? Please talk to me love... Don't leave me like this... I can’t watch you waste away,” Natasha opened her mouth, her voice was rough and broken, Russian accent still clinging to her words.

 

“I-I...I want to remember....” she whispered, emerald eyes slowly meet the cool blue of Pepper’s. “I want to remember you... I... I know you love me... And I can’t remember why... I remember your face and your voice but I don’t know who you are. I don’t know where I am or why everyone is calling me a name that isn’t mine....” she whined softly, “I don’t know why these people are hurting me and I just want to go back to Russia....” Natasha looked down at her feet, her mind reverting her back to how she was as a child. “Is it because I killed that man? I didn’t mean to... T-They told me to kill him... I... I was just following orders....” The redhead tried to shy away from the bars, fear in her eyes. "Please just let me go back to Russia..." She repeated, her voice breaking with fear and confusion.

 

Pepper’s eyes burned with tears seeing her so frail and so scared. “You will remember,” She whispered and gripped the bars tightly. “Honey..you don't want to go back there. They did this to you, they made you kill that man. You go back there and you will never remember..and I can't let you do that...I won't let that happen to you” She told her through her teeth, her tone quiet and desperate. “You are Natasha Romanov, you are my fiance..the love of my life and my best friend. Those monsters hurt you. And when they hurt you...they kill me. I am tired of seeing you being put through this..” She said softly and reached out for her. The redhead froze staring at the hand extended to her. “I’m your friend..you can trust me” Pepper pleaded.

 

Natasha looked at Peppers outstretched hand carefully, several long moments passed before she intertwined her shaking fingers with the other woman's. "P-Pepper...." She mumbled, remembering the feeling of holding Peppers hand. It brought a small flash of life to her eyes and Natasha scooted back up to the bars to be closer to her. "Pepper...." She repeated again; the sound of her lover saying her name brought a huge grin to the CEO's lips. "Yes love... Do you remember anything? Tell me Natasha... Let me help you remember...."

 

The assassin swallowed and thought. "I remember holding your hand." She whispered, "I remember...." She paused, closing her eyes to concentrate. "I remember you were sitting at a desk... And then you got up and held my hand... We walked down a hallway and into an elevator where you kissed me....."

 

Pepper’s smile turned watery and she nodded, “I remember that too..” She chuckled tearfully and held her hand a little tighter as she moved as close as she could to the bars. The steel was the only thing separating them. “You almost smacked me” She chuckled. “Or maybe that was our first kiss, they’re both similar, I can't tell” She laughed softly and rested her forehead on the bars. Bringing the hand she held up to her lips, Pepper placed a butterfly light kiss on her knuckles. “You have the best kisses..I miss them dearly.” She said quietly and stroked the back of her hand. “Your hugs too, I don't feel safe without them. It feels so cold..” She whispered with a tight voice.

 

Natasha tried to remember hugging Pepper, she remembers kissing her and that sent a familiar jolt of happiness through her. Her free hand moved to touch her lips, trying to remember the feeling of it all. "I don't remember...." Se whispered sadly, her eyes moving to Peppers reactor. "There's a man who has one of those...." She whispered, "T....Ton...Tony!" She said suddenly, remembering. "You work with him.... I remember seeing both of you in an office..... You were angry about something....." She squeezes her eyes shut. "Why don't I remember Pepper? Tell me what happens... I want to remember!"

 

She nodded, “Shh, Nattie” She whispered. “If they know I’m down here I wont be able to see you again” She said quietly and looked her in her eyes, reaching through the bars and gently taking her face in her hands. “Yes, I work with Tony, he’s my best friend, just like you are.” She told her and stroked her cheeks with her thumbs. “Dont push yourself, baby. Just relax for me okay?” She whispered, “Your mind needs to relax, just focus on me..” She told her and her blue pearls looked into Emerald pools. “Look at me baby girl” She told her.

 

Natasha relaxed into her touch slightly, her eyes focused solely on Pepper. "Why did they do this to me?" She asked, laying her hand over peppers on her cheek. "Please... Tell me stories... Help me remember things.... I want to love you like I know you love me.... I want to feel that again.... I know it was here before but I can't remember...." Her expression turned desperate and she let out a little sob, kissing Pepper's wrists softly, trying to make herself remember again.

 

“There’s one story I will never forget, not for as long as I live..” She smiled looking down at her lips on her wrist. Pepper lifted her other hand and showed her a ring on her finger. “The day you gave me this..” Pepper whispered as the stones shown bright and sparkled in the light of her reactor through the thin t-shirt. Natasha looked over at it and her other hand came up and examined the ring, “It’s very beautiful..I gave you that?” Pepper nodded, “Yes, we had a whole day planned for it..well you did. I had no idea what was going on until we got to the really fancy Italian place. We talked all night, the waiters were being driven nuts since we wouldn't get up and leave” She chuckled. “But when you got down on one knee and asked me..I just..My whole world spun like a top.” She smiled softly, “That’s a night neither of us had forgotten..”

 

“Except I did...” she whispered sadly, gently touching the ring. There was something familiar about it, the set of the diamonds, like she had seen it before. “I remember...... something....’ she said softly. “I remember seeing your face, and hearing someone ask you to marry them... But the accent isnt mine... It was American...” she spat the last word.

 

Old habits die hard.... Pepper thought to herself. “It was you.” she assured, drawing a cell phone from her pocket. “Look at these...” she opened up a few pictures, all of them of Pepper and Natasha together, looking happy and laughing or kissing or one of them with all their friends. “Thats me?” she asked, her eyes growing wide as she looked at a picture of her next to Captain America. “That cant be me....”

 

“Honey, that is you” She nodded, “You’re a little different now physically..but that is you..You and Steve are like brother and sister” She told her. And swiped across the screen to the next picture, one of her and Natasha at the restaurant. Natasha’s arm wrapped around Pepper’s waist as she looked down at her ring. “That was you after you proposed” She smiled. “See my make up? I looked like Helter Skelter and you still told me how beautiful I was” She mused.

 

She swiped across to the next one, it was Pepper at the waterpark with the team behind her, and Natasha on her back getting a piggy back ride. “See? All of these people..do yo know them?” She asked seeing all the boys in their swim trunks and her along with Natasha in Bikinis.

 

Natasha frowned as she looked at them, she recognized the faces and could name a few but she didnt know why. “That ones you...” she said, “Tony has the thing in his chest....” her brow furrowed, “The one in purple... Thats Clint.... That one is... Steve?” she asked, pointing to him unsure. Pepper nodded. ‘Yes! Thats Steve, The big one is thor and thats Bruce.” she smiled encouragingly and squeezed her fiance’s hand.

 

She swiped to the next screen, a video of her that she had sent to Pepper started playing. She was speaking though her accent was American. “Pepper!” her video self said happily, she was on some rooftop, the sunset behind her. “God you really need to get your cute little butt out of that office and let me bring you up here.” she laughed, the wind blew. The woman on the screen looked so happy, emerald eyes so full of life. The present Natasha frowned, trying to remember making the video. Small tidbits of memories began falling into place and she sighed, “T-Thats me?” she asked, her voice breaking as she looked to Pepper.

 

Pepper nodded tearfully as well, “Yes, that’s you” She smiled, reaching up to gently wipe the tears from her lover’s eyes. “Happy and a brat” She smiled. “But a lovable brat.” She leaned closer and lifted her face the best she could, timidly leaning in and pulling her face gently against the bars, where her lips could just barely touch the Russian’s on the other side. “And I want to marry you..not the Widow. But my Natasha.” She told her quietly and her nose just barely touched hers. “And I am not leaving here until I get her back.”

 

Natasha let Pepper move closer to her though hesitation was in her eyes. She listened to Pepper speak, trying to understand. With a deep breath she leaned in and kissed Pepper deeply, her own hands moving to hold Pepper’s over her cheeks.

 

Everything felt like it snapped into place, things were fuzzy but she remembered! She remembered! She jumped back like she had been electrocuted, some life returning to her eyes. The barren dead green changing to a deep jade, The assassin behind the bars looked at Pepper with an excited smile and whispered her reply as she worked to process through everything. “I remember....”

 

Pepper felt the shock and adrenaline flow through her veins and she instantly lit up like a roman candle. “Oh my g--Thank God” She laughed with excitement and hugged her through the bars. Hearing her say just those two words was enough for her.

 

Take that Fury.

  
She finally had her friend back, and Her lover was slowly returning home to her. Her lover was coming home to her. She felt her whole world light up again, the reactor in her chest glowed brighter through her shirt, illuminating the both of them. “I’m going to get you better..I promise” She told her and held her face gently in her hands. Wanting to break through those bars and wrap the woman up in her arms and never let another person or monster touch her ever again.


	10. Breath of Life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It had been several days since Natasha had started to remember things. Her mental health had been closely examined by S.H.I.E.L.D. before she had finally been allowed to go home, given that she would have daily check-ins with the doctor.
> 
> Since returning home, the redhead had showered and changed into a fresh pair of clothes; the fabric clung to her awkwardly since she had lost so much weight in captivity. Her sweatpants sagged on her hips and the sleeves of her shirts often fell off her shoulders.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This literally took 10,000 years I am so sorry

It had been several days since Natasha had started to remember things. Her mental health had been closely examined by S.H.I.E.L.D. before she had finally been allowed to go home, given that she would have daily check-ins with the doctor.

 

Since returning home, the redhead had showered and changed into a fresh pair of clothes; the fabric clung to her awkwardly since she had lost so much weight in captivity. Her sweatpants sagged on her hips and the sleeves of her shirts often fell off her shoulders.

 

Natasha sighed, climbing onto the couch and snuggling up to Pepper, who was quietly flipping through a book.

 

“Hi, you,” the CEO said with a smile, kissing her lover’s hair. “It’s good to have you home again. It didn’t feel like home without you.” Natasha smiled, curling up and drowsily resting her head against Pepper’s thigh—though her condition had improved mentally, she was still very weak.

 

Pepper smiled, wrapping Natasha in her arms while she set her book down on the table next to the couch. She leaned over to kiss Natasha on the cheek and found that her lips were pressing up against bone—a feeling she detested—and not the usual fullness of her lover’s cheeks.

 

“Have you eaten?” Pepper asked her in a soft whisper as she stroked the redhead’s hair. Receiving a small sigh and nothing more, Pepper knew that her lover hadn’t.

 

“Honey, please. You have to try.” She paused, twirling a small strand of auburn hair in her fingers. “Come on. I’ll make you something; I’ll make you whatever you like.”

 

Pepper’s requests were only met by a curt “I’m not hungry” from Natasha, who was actually starving but knew she couldn't keep it down. She hated being sick—really, looking weak—in front of Pepper. So, she just avoided the pangs of hunger, even though it hurt her.

 

Pepper let out a deep sigh and looked down at the redhead. "Natasha, I’ve almost lost you twice now. I'm not losing you again, especially not to a case of malnutrition." She pulled the assassin to her feet and dragged her to the kitchen despite Natasha’s small whines of protest. "Honey, stop that,” she muttered. “You’ve got to eat."

 

Natasha reluctantly sat down at the kitchen counter and watched as Pepper prepared a meal for her that would ultimately end up either in the trash or the toilet.

 

Pepper made sure Natasha was going to stay before going to find the redhead something light to eat. “Natasha, I know you hate being like this around me,” she said, eyes scanning over the kitchen cabinets. “I can see you trying to hide it. Don’t hide it from me, okay? You know that I want to help you.” She pulled a can of chicken broth out of one of the cabinets, and added, “I want to make sure you get better.”

 

Setting a steaming bowl in front of Natasha, Pepper sat next to her with her own bowl. “You need something in you,” she told her, resting her head on the other woman’s shoulder. “I’ll eat with you, and I’ll be here if you start feeling sick...but just take your mind off of it for me, okay?” She encouragingly rubbed Natasha’s side.

 

Natasha looked at the bowl, obvious distaste in her eyes. “Do I have to?” she mumbled, hesitantly picking up the spoon and pouring some of the broth into her mouth. Reluctantly, she swallowed; then, slowly but surely, she pushed another spoonful into her mouth, trying to push away the feeling that her stomach was going to betray her after just one bite. Pepper kept her eyes on Natasha as she ate her own soup. A knot twisted in her throat as she watched, realizing how hard it was for Natasha to eat. Finally, she realized she had to do more than just sit and observe. She set down her own bowl and reached for her lover’s hand.

 

“Nat, let me,” she whispered. She grabbed Natasha’s spoon and started slowly feeding her soup to her, as if Natasha was a child. It wasn’t as if Natasha felt any different—she felt like the little girl she had been back in Russia, her mind scrambled while her thoughts were submerged in a cloud of chaos.

 

After about half of the bowl was gone, Natasha mumbled, “Pep...I can’t eat any more.” It made Pepper want to cry at how little Natasha had eaten, but she knew that it was progress and that she would have to accept it for now.

 

“Alright,” she said softly, setting the spoon back into the bowl. “Just relax, honey. Try to keep it down.”

 

“No, Pepper!” The scarlet haired woman snapped and slammed her hands on the counter. The stress boiling in her chest as she clamped her fingers in her hair, and her nails dug dangerously hard in her scalp. “Just shut up!” She hissed and tucked her head down.

 

“Well excuse me your majesty” Pepper blurted under her breath and rolled her eyes. The frustration in the other woman only rubbing off on her own fear and stress she shared.

 

“What!?”

 

“Nothing just forget it” Pepper dismissed, instantly regretting what she said and got down from the stool she sat on to walk back towards the fridge, looking for something to eat herself.

 

The redhead shook with anger and frustration, most of it aimed at herself though she couldn’t help but take it out on her lover. She was still damaged from their whole ordeal and she hated herself for looking so weak. Natasha wanted to be back to normal already.

 

“God dammit Pepper!” she shouted, angry tears in her eyes as she launched her half finished bowl of soup at the wall. Pepper jumped when Natasha shouted, her eyes wide as the bowl shattered against the wall. The steaming soup splashed back at Natasha and she cried out for a moment, holding her hand against her chest.

 

“You think you can fix me, Pepper. YOU CAN’T!” Natasha screamed, tears falling down her now red cheeks, “There’s nothing to fix! I can’t go back to how I was before, I can’t go back to being the healthy woman you love. She doesn’t exist anymore! I’m sorry I can’t take care of you! I’m sorry I can’t make you happy....” her head fell forward and she backed up to go to their bedroom. “You’re better off without me Pepper...”

 

“Now that’s a goddamn lie and a half.” She snarled and walked right after her. “Natasha, the woman I fell in love with is still there. I can see her in your eyes. Why can't you help me help you...Please” She pleaded, her frustration melting away into full on pain.

 

Natasha stopped and kept her back to Pepper, leaning against the doorway, the sight sickening to the CEO. Able to see the bones poking out from the tank top she wore. Her luscious curves, ones that she missed having under her palms, it broke her heart. “Nat..I just..I don’t care what you look like, skinny, fit, curvy..I just want you to be healthy. That’s all I want.” She whimpered.

 

The former assassins emerald eyes focused on the floor, “Pepper. I can see how you look at me now. We both know you don’t want me. I’m not forcing you to stick around,” The words tasted disgusting on her lips but she needed to tell Pepper, she didn’t want to force her to stay with her out of pity.

 

Pepper’s eyes widened and her jaw dropped, before she could really think about it she reached out and grabbed her shoulders, pressing her against the door, Natasha looked completely shocked, staring up at her fiance with a look of fear on her face. “You think I’m staying with you because I feel obligated?” she spat, obviously hurt.

 

“Well I thought--”

“No, Don’t think. You look at me. Right now”  Pepper growled and took her face in her hands, gently, making her look in her blue eyes. “I am with you because I love you. I am with you because I want to be. Because you mean the world to me. And if I lose you..I lose the whole world. I have nothing left to live for” She whispered tearfully. “I dont wanna lose you”

 

Natasha flinched when Pepper grabbed her face, “I...I....” she just tried to worm away, shutting herself down again. Pepper just held onto her. “Natasha.... Please... I’m so scared. I just want you safe and healthy. God please, Natasha....” The smaller redhead squirmed out of her grasp and backed up down the hall, looking like that scared little girl locked in the cage again.

 

“I-Ill be good....” she mumbled, picking up the bowl of broth left over and drinking it with a whimper as she backed against the wall. “I promise Ill be good just please dont hurt me....” her voice was weak, her mind transported to somewhere else.

 

Pepper watched in awe, realizing she had fucked up, “Natasha... Natasha stop...” she said, the redhead stood straight and tall at attention, her gaze locked on some far off place. The CEO started to cry and held her lovers face in her hands.

 

“Nat... Nattie please, come back to me... Dont make me have to lose you again... Please... stay here, don’t go off to those bad places....” Pepper knew that now wasn’t the time to lose her cool, Natasha was in such a fragile state, physical contact and raised voices weren’t the answer.

 

It would only make it worse and bring out the PTSD she suffered greatly from. Pepper sighed, “Love..please..focus on my voice okay? Come home..come on soldier, come home” She whispered and rested her forehead on Nat’s. “Come home to me, like you promised” She whimpered and slowly wrapped her arms around her. “Please” She whispered against her neck.

 

Natasha was still lost in the far off place, shaking slightly when she felt the gentle touches of her lover’s hands. Slowly she drifted back to reality, Pepper’s hands gently pulling her out of the hell she had lived in. After a long silence her skinny arms slowly wrapped around Pepper.

 

“What if I dont have a home to come back to?” she asked softly, hiding her face against Pepper’s skin, pressing kisses to her neck and shoulder and just holding her close, desperate to feel wanted and needed. “You’re my home Pepper... I don’t want to lose you....”

 

Pepper pulled her close, thankful that she had managed to get her out of those dangerous memories. “Nattie... Nattie baby... You couldn’t lose me if you tried... You’re mine and I’m yours. Forever and Always,” she reminded her, one hand gently moving to comb through her lover’s curls.

 

“I’m so sorry Nat... I shouldn’t have yelled at you....” The redhead shook her head, laying a small hand over Pepper’s. “I shouldn’t have done what I did... You had every right....”

  
“We’ll get through this…” Pepper whispered. “We can make sure you’ll be okay… I won’t let them hurt you again.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FEEDBACK IS STILL APPRECIATED


End file.
